If you’ve ever dated someone with a dog, you know it’s not a casual arrangement. You’re not just dating a person, you’re building a connection with their four-legged sidekick, too. For many of us, dogs are family. They're confidants, companions, and sometimes the main reason we get out of bed in the morning. So when you enter into a relationship with a dog parent, you're not just meeting the person, you’re entering their pack.
It’s a dynamic that’s easy to overlook if you’re not a dog parent yourself. But ask anyone who’s ever truly loved a pup: finding a partner who loves you and your pup is often the deal-breaker. It’s not just about tolerance, it’s about integration, support, and understanding.
So, how do you show someone that you love their dog too? Not just performatively, but in a way that feels real, trustworthy, and lasting? That’s what we’re diving into here, for anyone trying to build a meaningful relationship with a dog lover (and their beloved pup).
1. Educate Yourself on Dogs (Even If You’ve Never Had One)
Start with the basics. If dogs have never been a part of your life, you’ll want to learn a few fundamentals, not just for your partner’s sake, but for the dog’s comfort too. Understanding how dogs communicate (and miscommunicate) with humans is essential.
Body language is a great place to begin. A wagging tail doesn’t always mean “happy,” and a dog that looks relaxed may actually be nervous. Learn about calming signals like lip licking, yawning, or avoiding eye contact. Know how to read tension in posture. These insights make your presence less stressful for the dog and more reassuring to your partner.
Also, brush up on common rules and routines. What’s leash etiquette in public? What foods are dangerous for dogs? How do you introduce yourself to a nervous pup? Even if you’re not the primary carer, showing that you’ve taken time to understand their world makes a big impact.
2. Dress for the Dog Date
You’re not just meeting your partner, you’re meeting their dog. And that means your outfit may need to shift.
Skip the pale silk or ultra-skinny jeans. Think sturdy, dog-friendly clothing that you can sit, squat, or play in. Comfortable shoes are a must (there’s always a chance of an impromptu walk), and anything you wouldn’t want to get pawed at or shed on should stay in the closet.
That said, not every date will include the pup. Fancy dinner? Probably dog-free. Park hangout? Expect dog hair. When in doubt, ask your partner what kind of date it’ll be. It shows awareness, and shows you’re factoring their dog into the plan.
3. Join the Play, the Right Way
One of the best ways to bond with a dog is through play, but like any new relationship, it has to be on their terms. Play is how many dogs express joy, burn energy, and build trust. It’s also how they test the waters with someone new. If you want to be part of their world, engaging in play is a great start, but it has to be done mindfully.
Start slow. Sit near them while they play with your partner or explore the space. Observe what they like. Do they chase balls? Love tug toys? Prefer chew toys or puzzle feeders? Every dog has their preferences; some are highly energetic and crave movement, while others like quieter, sniff-based games or gentle interaction.
When they bring you a toy, that’s usually your invitation. If they don’t, respect that boundary and wait until they initiate. Don’t overwhelm them with sudden movement or loud enthusiasm, especially if they’re a rescue or still getting used to you. Let them sniff you, watch you, and decide you’re safe.
If you’re unsure, ask your partner: “What’s their favorite game?” or “Do they like fetch or hide-and-seek?” That curiosity shows care, and your partner will appreciate that you’re trying to understand their pup, not just impress them.
Also, know when to wind down. If the dog starts panting heavily, avoids eye contact, or walks away, it’s time to take a break. Respecting these cues shows you’re paying attention, and that builds trust with both the dog and the human.
4. Build a Real Relationship with the Dog
Just like you wouldn’t force a friendship with your partner’s best friend, you can’t rush a bond with their dog. Dogs operate on trust, and that takes time.
Start small. Use the dog’s name, mirror your partner’s tone of voice, and stick to familiar routines. Walk beside them instead of ahead of them. Sit on the floor if they seem nervous. Offer calm praise when they approach you. Ask for permission before introducing new toys or activities.
And most importantly, be authentic. Dogs can smell discomfort (literally), and they can tell when someone’s faking affection. It’s okay if you’re not “a dog person” yet. If you show consistent kindness and effort, most pups will warm up. And when they do, that trust will feel earned, not bought.
5. Come Bearing Gifts, and Time
Gifts matter, but the right ones at the right time matter more.
At first, bring a toy, something small, safe, and fun. Avoid treats or food unless your partner gives the go-ahead, since many dogs have dietary restrictions or sensitivities. A toy is thoughtful without crossing boundaries.
As your relationship deepens, offer your time. Go for a walk with them. Pick the dog up from daycare. Offer to join a vet appointment. Help with grooming if needed. These acts of service show that you’re not just in love with your partner, you’re making room in your life for their dog, too.
Eventually, once you're bonded and part of the daily rhythm, you can go for longer-term gifts, like a dog box membership that brings curated joy straight to their door every month. Not only is it practical, but it also shows planning, commitment, and genuine love for their pup.
6. Prepare for the Emotional Side of Dog Love
Here’s the harder truth: loving a dog means accepting the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it. Dogs don’t live as long as we do. And when you love someone who loves a dog, you’re signing up to walk that road with them, joy, stress, laughter, loss, and everything in between.
Injuries, illness, and ageing all come with emotional weight. Your partner may already be thinking about these things, especially if their dog is getting older. And even if the pup is still full of energy, dog parents carry an emotional awareness that time is precious. They might take a hundred photos a day or cancel plans just to stay home with their dog, not because they’re flaky, but because they’re deeply bonded.
Being with someone who has a dog means showing up not just when things are cute and fun, but also when things are uncertain or painful. It’s being there for vet visits, helping make decisions when the dog isn’t well, or simply holding space when your partner is grieving. Pet loss is often minimized in society, but for dog lovers, it’s a profound experience, and they’ll remember who stood by them through it.
This doesn’t mean starting a relationship thinking about the end. But it does mean knowing that the connection your partner has with their dog isn’t temporary or surface-level, and being emotionally ready to support them through all the highs and lows. It’s not just a dog. It’s someone they love deeply. And if you can hold space for that love, it says everything about the kind of partner you’re becoming.
7. Respect the Boundaries of the Pack
As your relationship grows, you might be tempted to dive into the dog’s care head-first, but go gently. Every dog-and-owner dynamic is different, and you need to earn your place in their routine.
Ask your partner how they prefer to handle things like feeding, discipline, walks, or training. Don’t assume your way is better, even if you’ve had dogs before. Respect their boundaries, and their dog will respect yours too.
If the dog is extra-attached or has a history of trauma (especially rescues), that slow, respectful approach becomes even more important.
8. Celebrate Their Bond, Don’t Compete with It
Some people feel a little jealous of the time and energy their partner gives to their dog. But here’s a better way to see it: the love they give that pup is a glimpse into how they love in general. It’s a preview of the loyalty, tenderness, and care they’re capable of.
Celebrate their bond. Be part of the joy. Help organise the dog’s birthday or a fun photo shoot. Cheer them on when they finally master a new trick. Recognise that their happiness is often shared with their dog, and that you get to be part of that too.
Loving Their Dog Is Loving Them, Too
When you love someone who loves a dog, you’re not just adding a pup to the picture. You’re entering a partnership that includes paws, routines, vet visits, and lots of fur, and that’s a beautiful thing.
You don’t need to know everything. You don’t need to get it all right. But if you show up, stay curious, and keep trying, both your partner and their dog will feel the difference.
Love isn’t always about grand gestures. Sometimes, it’s about remembering the dog’s name, knowing where the leash is, and packing treats in your pocket, just in case.
